If there’s anyone out there looking to employ a transport consultant, come along to the Public Inquiry at Brighton Town Hall. There are four of them on display and they are all auditioning.

We’ve already heard from Mark Leigh, performing for the Albion. He was impressive first time round. So much so, that he might be allowed a second appearance next week. Tony Harrison, who will appear for Lewes District Council, is indisposed at the moment. He won’t be appearing until next month.

There’s a Mr Ellis, who supports the owners of Toads Hole Valley. He gets his turn next Tuesday. But today it was a resumption of the performance by Mike Mogridge, the City Council’s man, who we first met last Thursday.

He spent most of the day being cross-examined by Robert White, the lawyer for Lewes District Council. Once again, we heard lots of numbers. There were estimates of how many people live within walking distance of various potential stadium sites. There was discussion about the difference between ‘crow fly distances’ and ‘road walk distances’. There was an argument about how many bus routes went to Sheepcote Valley (and whether Roedean Road counted as going to Sheepcote Valley or just going near Sheepcote Valley).

There were lists of bus routes, read out so fast that even some of the lawyers couldn’t keep up, and then a debate about whether bus service 57 counted at all, since it only runs on Sundays.

What did we learn? Firstly that not all transport consultants use quite the same methods to analyse data. Secondly, that they won’t actually disagree with their fellow professionals. And, thirdly, that none of the detail seems to have much to do with how people really travel.

Example – however many people live within cycling distance of a football stadium (and we have information about ten different venues), it makes not much difference, because not many people cycle to football matches.

So? The point gradually became clear. The consultants are debating something called ‘accessibility’. This is nothing to do with real people travelling.

Accessibility is transport consultants’ jargon for what estate agents call ‘Location, Location, Location’. A stadium site is ‘accessible by sustainable means of transport’ if some people live near enough to walk, some people live near enough to cycle (even if they won’t) and some people live near enough to a bus or rail service that goes near enough to make it likely (or possible) that they might use public transport on matchdays.

Real people travelling is something else. They will sometimes use buses. But only if there is ‘spare capacity’. Or, to translate from the jargon, if there’s a seat on the bus. Sometimes they will walk a bit – maybe when they get off the bus at Churchill Square, they will walk up Queens Road to the Station and catch a train. Or maybe they’ll catch a different bus at Churchill Square.

We don’t really know what they’ll do, to tell the truth, because this is ‘transport modelling’ and different transport consultants do that bit differently. To give just one example, Mr Mogridge assured us that using population figures and ‘ward centroids’ resulted in ‘lumpy data’.

So there you have it. It all sounds so confusing. Real people, sitting in the public gallery, seemed to be muttering among themselves that the important bit was how real people like us might actually travel. But we all had a sneaking suspicion that the lawyers and the planning experts were more interested in accessibility analysis and Planning Policy Guidance and Supplementary Planning Guidance. And unlumpy data.

At the end of the day, all of our transport consultants will have had plenty of opportunities to answer the question that Mr White must have asked a dozen times. ‘So, how would you advise the Secretary of State?’

It will be some weeks before we find out who the Secretary of State is most impressed with. In the meantime, my advice is that if there really is someone out there who wants to employ a transport consultant, you might consider the alternative of just talking to real people who make real journeys.